First Signs of the Apocalypse: Tune in Tokyo and Its Disgraceful Author Get Notice in a Major Magazine OMG

Folks, Publishers Weekly, the esteemed publication of the publishing industry that usually displays very good judgment in all things, has done the unthinkable and printed an article about me (with a photo) in their actual print magazine and not just on their website! This is the closest they will ever get to disseminating hard-core pornography, and will surely come back to haunt the PW folks’ dreams once Sarah Palin finds out about it and gets out her Twitter rifle. (This profile is available online here)

Not only did PW do this, but, in the same issue, they also gave my book, Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries, a very favorable review (online here), which means they are more likely than ever to experience the flames of unholy hellfire when baby Jesus comes back during Armageddon to decree what books and magazines the saved get to take with them to heaven and which ones will be sent directly to one of Hell’s many mezzanines via Satan’s favorite vehicle, the Toyota Prius.

All of this depravity has been made possible thanks to PW’s first-ever PW Select quarterly self-publishing supplement, which is featured in the December 20 issue of PW. Below is a photo I took of the front page of the supplement, which mentions me and my book and OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE SOMEBODY CALL RUDOLPH!



I'm speechless, but at least I can still type, so let's wrap this up: I guess my feelings can be best summed up by Laura Dern in Wild at Heart when she says to Nicholas Cage "You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt." Either that line or the one where Nicholas Cage says he has "a boner with a capital O."

Important Book Marketing News: Tune in Tokyo Bookmarks A Go-Go

Everyone knows that any author who has self-published a book, even if that book is stupidly award-worthy like mine, faces an uphill struggle in the fight for visibility in the marketplace. People just don't care about your dumb project! That's why it's the author's job to make them care. Force them to care. Dare them to care. If you are successful at this then you will have a world full of people wondering what life was like before they cared about the book you wrote. And the best way to be successful at this is obvious: bookmarks.

People love bookmarks because they can be used for many things: picking your teeth, cleaning your fingernails, scratching your upper back, dusting the dandruff out of your hair. But did you know they can also be used to mark your place in a book so that you can go back to that place easily the next time you are on the toilet? It's true. So the good news for you is that I now have Tune in Tokyo bookmarks available. The first 10 people to email me and ask for one will get one. Just email me and tell me Tune in Tokyo is the book that made you want to be a dancer, and I'll send you several! Because you deserve at least that many.

Tune in Tokyo Gets Some Love from the Logo Channel!

Great news for you, readers! My book Tune in Tokyo has been written up by the Logo Channel's Trip Out Gay Travel site, yay! I know it's very important for all y'all to have new TiT-related things to read while blowing off work and touching yourself inappropriately.

Your welcome!

I'm Broke-Ass of the Week!

Adding to the long, long list of awards and kudos I've been receiving in the wake of the publication of my book (full disclosure: it's a very short list), I've now been named Broke-Ass of the Week on Broke-Ass Stuart's Goddamn Website.

Next stop: the Daytime Emmys.

Tune in Tokyo at the Brooklyn Book Festival

Folks, my book Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries was on display at the WNBA table at the Brooklyn Book Festival this past Sunday. No, not the Women's National Basketball Association; I'm talking about the Women's National Book Association, which had the acronym first, bitchez. Anyway, of course I'm a member of the WNBA--after all, I'm a proud black woman. And I'll do pretty much anything to be able to display my book on a table--just ask the shirtless boys playing table tennis at Chelsea Piers.

The bottom line is that I was giving away free bookmarks, which explains why the WNBA table was such a hot property on Sunday.

Tune in Tokyo-themed Writing Contest

My agent Janet Reid (courtroom sketch above) had a Tune in Tokyo-themed writing contest over at her blog. Entrants had to use the following words in a short piece of writing:

Jimmy
frame
viola
smoking
sword

The contest was announced on Friday night and the deadline was midnight on Saturday. Head on over to see the winners, announced today. The top prize goes to a lady by the name of Angela. She will get a copy of my book! (Poor thing.)

Tune in Tokyo Gets Its First Review OMG LOL NSFW LMAO IMHO!!!!!

People will read anything these days as long as it's got lots of cussin'.

What Terrible Book is Young Clare Reading?

Well, since you asked, I'll tell you that young Clare is reading a new children's book about adults being lewd and stupid in Japan. It's called Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries, and even though it's a children's book, it is definitely not for kids.

Buy one for yours!

(Clare is reading the chapter about the magic mushrooms and the vaginas.)

Dirty SexxxPics from Tune in Tokyo Book Launch

Folks, one of these days I will blog about something else besides the book that I'm pimping like the dickens. But until that sad, sad day, I'll find some reason, however dubious and downright offensive, to flog this terrible/wonderful chunk of literature.

My dear friend Sarah Pasell was the official TiT photographer and she got some great pics of the proceedings (in a VERY dimly lit room) before it devolved into a desperate and sweaty display of human nudity.


This crowd is thirsty.


Kristen Elde reading about boobs.


Is that Rachel Roth over there on the right? I think it is. Thanks for the cake, Roth. It's dank.


Sarah just told me she heard that Lady Gaga and Kate Perry are cutting each other in the hallway. (It ended up being just two drag queens fighting over a wig.)


A rare sighting of Jimmy out in the wild.


Edmund II playing some lovely tunes from his forthcoming CD "Floating Monk."


Stone cold readin'.


Pull back and.....scene!




Thanks for coming everyone! For real, it was an awesome evening and I hope you had fun. Happy reading!

Book Launch!

Muchos arigatos to everyone who came out last night. It was a great party! And I think everyone liked the cookies I heated up in the oven, dropped on the floor, then passed around the bar.

If anyone has pics from the event, please send them to me via this blog or my book site (there's a link to email me on the main page) or the other blog. Or just "upload" the photos to the "Internet" somewhere (Sarah Palin's facebook page?)

Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries Book Launch 2nite!

TiT Party! KGB Bar! 7pm! Bring your friends and any D-list celebrities you might know.

I'm bringing cookies...

NYC Gay Mag The Villager Gives Tune in Tokyo a Little Love

Tokyo’s Metropolis Magazine Gives Tune in Tokyo Some Love

This is excellent! Used to read this mag every week.

Time Out New York Book Launch Mention

There’s a nice little write-up of the book launch party on the Time Out New York site here. I’m starting to feel the pressure to make pie...

Book Launch Party Validation Dept.

Ok, the Tune in Tokyo book launch is now officially happening because it’s listed in the Village Voice, or at least on their site.

Tune in Tokyo Now Available on Barnes and Noble Site

Ok, I’ve just found out that the book is now available at the Barnes and Noble site here, which is fun because I didn’t know that was going to happen.

Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries Book Launch at KGB Bar in NYC’s East Village July 13

Come celebrate Tune in Tokyo’s nonarrival in bookstores! I’ll have books on hand and there’s a cool little program planned, so come on out and drink until everything is funny.

KGB listing here.

Tune in Tokyo Now Available on International Amazon sites

Attention international (non-American) folks: Tune in Tokyo is now available on Amazon's Japanese, German, UK, and French sites, OMG! Sorry, I know this is too late for a few folks out there, but for those of you who haven't ordered yet from the U.S. site, this is magnificent news. You're welcome!

Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries now available on Amazon!

Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries is now available to order on Amazon. Buy it! Write and post a wonderful/scathing review of it! Pimp it to all the homeless ex-supermodels on your street! (They need to know.)